On Being Transgender……
I have often asked myself why am I this way? What happened? Did someone do this to me? Maybe you think I did this to myself?
Where to start! Well, I didn’t choose to be the way I am, it choose me. I started out as my birth sex but along the way changed my gender. There was no “Transgender grooming”, or friends saying, “Hey, be trans like us!” or who or what should I be today type of thing. Nor did I get hit on the head and then wake up the next day deciding that I am the wrong gender. It wasn’t social media or a creepy voice whispering to me either. I just knew, and when I figured it out enough to quit denying it to myself I was sure. This is all myself, No social media, politics, no religious influence. We have way too much of that. What I found out is that I had gender dysphoria.
Look around you, right now. I am the people that you know! Go to a busy store where there are at least 180 people. Did you know that at least one person there considers him/herself transgender sufficiently to say so. He or she may be noticeable or unseen. But they are there and a part of everyday life. We always have been and will continue to be. And as you see and has been forever, we are usually indistinguishable from everyone else. Transgender people are your aunt, cousin, grocery clerk, lawyer, or neighbor. As such we have not and do not present a danger to anyone.
There are many of us integrated in our society and we blend in so well that you may know us and not know that we carry a secret. A secret that many want to expose and use for their own uses. I really don’t care for that at all. Most of us feel that they must blend in so well so that we are not mocked, abused, restricted or utilized to further a political purpose or agenda. Some few are brave and go out at night even if they are seen as transgender but maintain their birth sex during the day. Some people hide from public when they express their transgender side. They only come out if they don’t care who knows or when they feel they are safe.
You see, some trans people don’t want to lose their trans identity. Perhaps the want to transition but don’t have or can’t get the resources they need to do so. Some feel that they can better relate to those like themselves and often put up with or suffer from the issues that come from dealing with cis people. You know these issues, snickering, limited bathroom choices, double takes, put downs, prejudice when interacting. It’s not only their issues but yours too if you do those things. As I mentioned, they are people just like yourselves.
What makes you and us afraid? The same scum who use us for their own purposes. Let me mention a few starting with the sexual pervert, who “claims” to be transgender for their own twisted purpose, believe me when I say that the trans community find them just as disgusting as you do, if not more as it cast real trans people in a ghastly light. The second is the politician who uses both fear and acceptance of us to create a divided society and enhance their own political status. Then comes the media selling headlines for profit, perhaps using the pervert to do so for profit. Finally comes businesses cashing in on us also for profit, gender clinics and hospitals that use transgender services as a means to generate cash. We are by nature a loving and accepting people from dealing with our issues and find this practice of being used be the groups mentioned degrading and disgusting. I did not give them permission to use me or my dysphoria for their own twisted lies, ideals and profits.
Many of us feel that we have no choice but to go to great lengths to disappear. We are a true minority in every society and country, and in many ways for order to survive many of us feel that we must go into hiding or to be so passable as not to be noticed. Can you say that any other minority our size is not as well represented and accepted as we are? I am not asking for any privilege, special or otherwise. I only seek to be treated just like everyone else already is. We must stand on our own two feet and be understood. As a result many transgender people choose to transition from one gender to another and thus disappear into regular society. We pretty much have to, it seems that a lot of people either don’t want to see us, or want to use us or don’t want to accept us.
Disappearing into society is our solution, that is the route I choose. It’s called stealth transitioning. It’s the transgender holy grail, the gold standard. You may already know one of us and not know it.
My journey through life has been challenging, long and difficult due to the added burden of being not one sex or the other, but one thing, transgender. That burden has been carried by myself and until I transitioned sat atop what everyone else knows as everyday life. After that I discarded one life to accept a new one, one that was in the open yet hidden and filled with secrets of who I was and am. To survive and cope I became a stealth, or hidden transwoman to reduce one burden yet accept another.
Sometimes, as a result, I find that I have lost some of my voice in the transgender community simply so I could be seen and heard in the cis community. A loss yes, yet as a connection between us two this gives me some hope that someday a bridge may be formed between all of us. The foundation for giving me hope is this; We are all alike, much more than you think yet know it is true. Did we not both start out as one, alike as brother and sister? Like you I have dreams, desires, a vision. I have a vision where you and I, transmen and transwomen cis men and cis women are as one community and walk hand in hand with each other in peace, love and harmony, once again as brother and sister. Please join me in making this so.
It may well be that if sufficient numbers of us we show the world that we are everyday people, loving, caring and peaceful we can gain a voice . I am not asking politicians to come together over us, I honestly doubt that is possible. I would appeal to the community from all genera to come together in one unifying nonpolitical movement.
I am afraid that if this does not happen that there may be lasting consequences. Current political thrust is deadly and seems to work at forcing all side apart with hate, mistrust and fear. We need to come together and become whole.
Kimberly Buck 10/13
 180 people * 0.0058 (%) is 1.04 people